TAHITI, FRENCH POLYNESIA

  Paradise Lost?

The most confounding question in travel: "Is it a paradise?" Well, I suppose that depends on who is asking the question, because each defines that value in his or her terms. Now, if you ask me, yes, Tahiti is a paradise - well, at least one of them anyway.The photo aside is strong evidence in my book. The omnipresent cloud shrouding Mt. Otemanu on Bora Bora is a facet of one's visit that becomes part of the landscaped memories that will last a lifetime. No number of pictures, web pages, or scanning software and equipment will ever capture the beauty of what I saw in Tahiti. But, if this photo whets your appetite, then do yourself a favor, GO! See it for yourself!

Perhaps, some might say that man has spoiled this place. Well, it's true that coral has been destroyed by developers, and I'm sure there are other examples of impact on this natural treasure. If you are of that bent, I'd advise you to get there sooner than never at all! It's about as good as it gets!

Travelinman's suggestions on French Polynesia

GENERAL
When visiting French Polynesia you absolutely must: Capture the sunset with your favorite person, a good drink, camera by the ready, and watch it unfold from beginning to end, bringing a close to a perfect day, and hopefully, another one to come!

RESTAURANTS
Favorite Restaurant: Bloody Mary`s Restaurant on Bora Bora, at least, if it`s still there! They had a sign outside that lists all the famous people that had eaten there - hey, if it was good enough for Billy Idol and Meg Ryan, it was good enough for me.

Some of the other names on the sign included: Prince Ranier (Royal Prince of Monaco?), Charlton Heston (Moses), Kurt (Snake Pliskin) Russell and Goldie Hawn, Mike Love (Beach Boys), Raquel Welch (youza), Steve Tyler(`Dream On`), Famous Amos (Cookies), Marilyn Chambers (yep, that one), Marlon Brando (`I coulda been a contender`), Julio Inglesias (`To All The Girls I`ve Loved Before...`), and Ringo Starr (`I said No, No, No, No, I don`t smoke it no more`), just to name a few.

`Bloody Mary is the girl I love, ... now ain`t that too damn bad,` or something like that. It`s that song from South Pacific, filmed mostly on Lumahai (or Nurses) Beach in Kauai, but let`s not fault Bora Bora for being entrepreneurial. Bloody Mary`s is just down the road from the Bora Bora Hotel, and while it`s not a place of silk tablecloths and napkins (to say the least), it`s hard to beat the seafood. The shirts for sale are cool too!

ACCOMODATIONS
Lodging Recommendation: The Hotel Bora Bora in an overwater bungalow (see picture on the side)!

Type: hotel
Location: Hotel Bora Bora, Point Raititi, B.P.1 Bora Bora, French Polynesia; Description: Unbelievable! From the Bora Bora Airport, you catch a small boat ferry. As you travel towards the mainland and the hotel, you`re not going to believe what you`re seeing - it`s like a dream - a wonderful dream!

Unique Qualities: The overwater bungalows (see pic above) have steps that lead right down into the water from your deck. A glass panel in the floor is there for viewing the incredible marine life. You can see down 50-60 feet (at least). A night light provides enhanced viewing after dark. Huge manta rays glide past your pane, turning their huge white bellies toward the light, as if to say, `Hello!`

There`s one exceptional difference between the older Hotel Bora Bora and other, absolutely, drop-dead, gorgeous resorts on Bora Bora. The newer resorts, with their pristine and impeccable accommodations, to include those that have overwater bungalows, appear to be situated on stripped coral beds, most likely a result of development. But at the Hotel Bora Bora, the lagoon is `alive...alive I tell you` (my Boris Karloff impersonation). Don`t forget your late afternoon pieces of bread because the fish are hungry down there!

For those who would rather have the ideal beach at their front door or who aren`t big marine oficiandos, the Beach Bungalows are nice. Imagine laying in your beach-front hammock, strung between palm trees, mesmerized by 10 shades of emerald and blue ocean colors.

More Info: Hotel Bora Bora is now under the umbrella of Amanresorts, of magical fame also in Bali and Phuket (and other places). Consult www.amanresorts.com for the general and reservations phone numbers, fax numbers, respectively.

Comparative Price: $$$$$ (most expensive in the area)
Average Price: Consult www.amanresorts.com for the most up-to-date rates per room category; the rates are cited in Pacific Francs (CFP), so you may need to also go to your universal currency calculator. One thing`s for sure, `it ain`t cheap.` But, look at it as a once-in-a-lifetime thing!

TOURIST TRAPS

Tourist Trap: It`s something most of us will do, God help us, but you can`t go to Tahiti without going on a shark feeding expedition or snorkeling trip.

I remember a Tahitian shark feeder named `Tiny,` on Bora Bora, who was as big as a suomo wrestler. He stood in the shallows of the reef and fed the black-tipped reef sharks (about 15 feet average) from a bucket that looked like a cup in his hands.

Meanwhile, those of us on the trip were obliged to hold onto a yellow rope, a certain distance away, heads under the water, to see these sharks eat away. To this day, I don`t understand the significance of that yellow rope. Tiny didn`t say much that day.

Anyway, it cost enough, and those who scuba probably get a riot out of watching those of us who opt for these types of things. It`s hokey, but I`d do it all again. You should see the shark feeding shirt I got afterwards - well, it`s kinda shrunk from large to extra small, and I`ve gained some weight to boot, but dang, at the time, I felt I had braved the dangers of the South Seas!

WARNINGS OR DANGERS
Warnings or Dangers: Always wear reef shoes while walking in the lagoons, and make sure you somewhat stir the sand because there are stonefish in places, and you don`t want to step on one. Be careful of the fire coral!

Also, I don`t know if things have changed much with the water situation, but there`s always the possibility that some might come down with a case of Bora Bora Belly. Take reasonable precautions but I wouldn`t get paranoid about it.

TRANSPORTATION
Getting Around: In Papeete, you just gotta take a `Le Truk` ride around town. It`s sort of like a taxi with a dump truck seating arrangement in back, under a tin roof. We were the only tourists on that `Le Truk` going back to the Parkroyal Hotel from the market downtown, and it took every inch of my resolve not to bust out laughing as I sat across from the locals. It wasn`t that the people were comical, it`s just that I had to lower my head so it wouldn`t bang against the roof everytime we hit a pothole. Meanwhile, we`re getting tossed left to right around corners, and the locals are sitting there like they were potted in sand. Absolutely hysterical (on the inside)!

Type: Bus , Car / MotorHome , Other Transportation

CULTURAL TIPS
Cultural Tips: This photo of Albert`s Rent A Car (aside) about sums up what your expectations should be in terms of infrastructure on the isle of Moorea - just kidding. But, it`s an undeniable facet of the culture here. I never saw Albert in 5 days. Perhaps, he winters over in Fiji, but my guess is he was opening another dealership on Bora Bora.